What you need to know about: "It gets worse before it gets better"

It gets worse before it gets better is something many therapists tell clients. We may also say the therapeutic process can be uncomfortable and downright difficult. When we find the junk drawer within our “Self,” we lose the privilege to live blissfully unaware. That means the junk we kept hidden (most likely in means or ways that did not serve our long-term values or Self) enters our conscious awareness. We see it everywhere. In our relationships. In our homes. At work. In our innermost thoughts. In the world.

Being inundated and overwhelmed by insight is a thing. We do our best as therapists to be mindful to taking the therapeutic process of awareness, growth, and healing at a pace the brain can tolerate. Unfortunately, what lies beneath the surface might reveal itself as much bigger than you or your therapist anticipated.

In a book called The Untethered Soul by Michael Alan Singer, I stumbled on a way of describing this phenomenon. Singer explains when we are not living full in the moment or here-and-now (balanced in our mind, body, and spirit), the body and mind accommodate by storing the energy of the here-and-now (in thoughts, belief systems, behavioral patterns, self-concept, defense mechanisms, physical ailments, increased heart rates, etc.). I would love to explain the concept of the soul in this short article, but that seems unrealistic, so shoot me a message or read Singer’s book. As for this energy, Singer says we may unknowingly have patterns, systems, and reactions resisting or clinging to this energy. When a client releases or allows that stuck energy, it is like a dam finally able to release pent up pressure and energy. Think of Frozen 2 (see this scene for reference): the dam bursting is the release of emotions, and it can signal energy is getting released - you may be getting better!

So when things in therapy feel worse, this can be a good time to ask, where might I be experiencing a new area of openness or receptivity to myself, others, or the world? How might this opening or receiving be connected to feeling overwhelmed or flooded? What can I do to care for myself in this difficult time without resisting this release (if that is appropriate)?

I’m here now thinking of you in this difficult season. I hope you have support and you remember to be curious about what is awakening or transforming within you.